One of the greatest journeys within this path of the mind-body-spirit is the constant reminder to own what's coming up for me, both internally and externally – to own the feelings of irritation, frustration, anger, rage - just to name a few – and thereby taking full responsibility & having complete accountability for my state of being and everything that comes into my world.
It’s all too easy to blame anything outside of ourselves for what's going on in our realities. That’s the great built in protective mechanism we have to deflect our own pain so we don’t have to feel it ourselves. It’s a part of how we learn to survive in the world as we develop and they can be the toughest habits to crack because they are so deeply engrained within us.
It can be a rewarding exercise to focus on - take it down to the smallest of occurrences in your daily routine, to the more weighty processes that we go through with people closest to us in our lives.
Where do you point the finger at outside circumstances?
Where do you have that split second ‘in the moment insight’ where you know you could respond in a new way, but react in the old default way you always have because it’s easier and feels better in that moment?
For me - It’s still a work in progress, by no means have I mastered the art… yet!! But with persistence it becomes so easier as time goes on. As you refine your behaviours and know what to look for, its like time slows down for you in certain situations so you have that extra space to respond in a fresh way.
‘You dishonour yourself anytime you blame anything for anything…’ – 22nd Gene Key
The last 6 weeks of my life have been one of the most challenging that I have been through, with the deepest of triggers being set off and sending me into a spiral of intensity and introspection about what was actually unfolding for me. Situations and events seemed to snowball as old childhood triggers and wounding came to the surface from the core of my being.
Its only in the space on the other side of the breakthroughs and the subsequent gifts that I can look back and see where it was easier to blame anything outside of myself for what was happening and therefore playing the victim of the situation – even at the subtlest of levels.
In such challenging times the power of a detached perspective is priceless, which admittedly is easier said than done when you have a pool of negative emotion coursing through your veins! Stories, made by a mind, which thrives on stress, tension & drama, are just waiting for a fresh landing pad of negative emotion to pounce on, which is where we can spiral downward even more rapidly.
The longer you are sitting in the emotional turbulence of it all, the more tired you become, and with the onset of fatigue the chances rapidly increase of you reacting in an old way or playing the victim card, its all so easy to have a momentary lapse and let the shadows creep in and play out... They’re just hanging for a run!
Repeatedly asking questions such as…
What am I missing here?
What's the truth behind this?
What's the fear sitting behind this?
What are the lessons I need to learn in all this?
…And calling forth the answers to these types of questions can help bring the focus back to what needs to be focused on, YOU.
Asking questions helps to not compartmentalise the situation in a rigid way and to keep you open to new insights coming in around what's at hand. These questions do get answered; we just need to be open to embracing them and give them time to reveal themselves. Coming to a ‘That’s what happened and that’s that’ conclusion closes us to the many possibilities that lay outside the box and into the higher frequencies of living and being…
The juiciest thing about discovering things in this way is that it’s all YOU, it’s not going outside of yourself for the answers - it’s your work, your breakthroughs and your rewards.
Its all just a game - you know you are just on the trail of another pattern, and you will have a win….
IF you persist!
Through these recent times I have been able to see clearly where I hadn’t forgiven people involved, where I hadn’t respected people as I thought I had the right to be respected, where I had been too defensive, where I was being arrogant (and a new perspective on what arrogance actually means for me), where I was playing the victim, and a whole lot more – all this through being accountable for what was mine.
What an epic personal triumph it was!
And here I am, still kicking, and a lot better for the run!
All the Best...